Seventeen Again (2000)

The older I get, the more I relate to Grandma Cat from Seventeen Again (2000).

Even as a kid I was more of a fan of her character than Sydney’s (which I thought was because I was more of a Tamera Mowry fan than that of Tia, keep in mind this was 2004-2007...). I thought it was hilarious that she thought school was “just reading, writing, and arithmetic” and the way she would verbally respond to the computer.

Little did I know that’s how I would end up being someday.

And then there’s the relationship with Gene.

As a kid I saw the strained relationship between the two as both of their fault’s. Gene’s for being an oblivious dunce and Cat’s for not speaking up about what she really wants. When Sydney said, “YOU chased Grandpa away!” I didn’t understand it. I thought she was just trying to be mean and say something to hurt her feelings. I didn’t see it that way because Gene chose to go to Australia on his own free will; he wasn’t pushed to go there and he definitely knew Cat didn’t actually want him to go.

But then Grandma Cat says, “You’re right. I DID chase your grandfather away,” and this confused me. What did she mean by she drove Gene away? He's the one who chose to leave... I just didn’t get it. I thought maybe there was a flaw in the writing of the film, or maybe her choosing to file for divorce was seen as her “driving him away” even though he was and had already been gone? What was she supposed to do, get on her knees and beg him to stay?

Sometimes I wish I still felt that way. I wish I still saw it as both of their fault’s and that Sydney was just talking nonsense and that Grandma Cat didn’t actually blame herself for Gene leaving. But I don’t. I do see it differently now that I’m older and it kinda makes me sad.

Here’s how I see it now:

If Cat had just held on and had faith in their relationship and their love, that Australia move would have been the temporary move that it was, and they could have gotten past it together. She chose her pride over her love for her husband and that’s why she filed for divorce.

She DID love her husband all those years and that’s why she 1) didn’t give him an ultimatum about going to Australia vs. staying with her (not wanting to hold him back from his dream) and 2) stayed bitter about the divorce for decades (because she knew it wasn’t the right thing to do).

This is probably one of my most oldhead-coded beliefs I’ve ever had in my life. But I have it.

Want to read some more of my oldhead beliefs? Check out my other blog posts.

And since this one is actually going on my blog, I feel like I have to mention this: I know that Cat was just trying to comfort Sydney and make her feel better about moving to a new place and getting over her fears and whatnot. I always knew that the message was "trust and have faith" and "put love first" and all that jazz. I just think about how as a kid I expected more from men, and now maybe I don't. I almost feel like the older I get, the more I move backwards in my beliefs and it scares me a lot. I think that's why this movie is so special to me. Rewatching it over the years from childhood, teenagehood, and now adulthood, I just see myself moving more and more towards Grandma Cat, even as I think of myself as young and hip and oh so glad to be out of gradeschool. It makes me feel guilty and selfish and like I haven't really done everything I could have done in certain situations that are now long gone and seemingly out of reach. I feel like I have to keep reminding myself all the time that I have to make moves if I want to see changes. When I rewatch this movie, I feel like I get transported with the characters to my own past life, but when the movie's over, I'm still here, and things are still the same as they were. I feel stuck in time and the only thing that changes is my mind. I wonder what's stopping myself from making changes in my life and in my choices. Am I really as stubborn as the old Grandma Cat? Will I always be?